Hello!! Sorry for the wait. I have been wrapped up in life. I don’t really have an excuse for my absence, but what I will say is that I have been in a very pleasant place. One thing that I have learned in the past year and a half is what it truly means to love someone. I am sure we have all heard the phrase, “Love is not about possession”, but this is not something that most of us can grasp. I feel like I have gotten a better understanding of this phrase in the past few months. As some of my relationships grow and others diminish I am learning to appreciate things and people rather than possess them. I have learned that all things are not meant for you to have. I think the difficult part is learning how to part from these things without bitterness. Just because you lose something or something is not good for you does not mean that you cannot love and appreciate it for what it is or what it was.
I’m living in this space right now. I have just been observing at a distance. Two years ago I may have been devastated when something went wrong in a relationship or I didn’t get what I wanted, but these days it is easier for me to love someone for exactly who they are rather than try to change them into who I want them to be. The process is hard, but I have learned that relationships don’t last very long if a person is forced to become something they are not. I have mastered the art of letting people be who they are. Change comes from within. If I can be there to support your change I will, but I can’t make you want to change, and I can’t make the changes for you.
Love is one of life’s greatest challenges, but I believe that it should be one of our greatest gifts. To love someone without judgement or under any specific conditions whether they are your significant other, sibling, parents, etc. is such a powerful tool. Once you can overcome the idea of possessing someone and simply appreciating them it can make a world of difference in your attitude and outlook on life. This energy is attractive to people. People don’t have to worry about guilt or judgment. Ironically, this energy creates accountability. When a person feels like they are loved for exactly who they are they are more likely to show up for you, they are more likely to be loyal, and they are more likely to do the right thing in your favor. When a person feels genuinety from you, you make yourself easy to love.
Some people make it difficult to love them, but we still do. It causes tension and stress on both ends, but many of us fall in love with the fight; the chaos. Just think of that one couple that you know shouldn’t be together, but they have been together (dysfunctionally) for years. You always wonder why they won’t end it, but the cycle continues. I don’t know about you, but I have figured out a way to love people from a distance once I have realized they aren’t compatible with my life. Not to say they won’t ever be, but it is best to love them on the side line than to drain the life out of each other until they are unbearable to the eyes.
I said all of that to say this: Love is a special gift that we are all capable of. Love is a tool that should be used to celebrate life. It should never be used to control or manipulate anyone. It takes time. Love is about appreciating life. We are all canvases, and we have been bruised and scratched and battered. We are like art. Each one of us deserves to be valued. I am learning. I am by no means perfect, and I still have a long way to go. I wanted to share my thoughts with you today to hopefully build change or even leave you with a thought provoking concept. Maybe it will work for you. Maybe it will challenge you. I am hoping it will do both.
All the best,