I hope your week has been amazing, fantastic, and most of all blessed. I’ve been gearing up for the holiday, and since I know I will be out of the blog scene for a couple of days I decided to leave you with something to think about over the weekend. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what love really means to me this past month. I’ve been able to evaluate my circumstances and relationships to identify what I want out of love. I know the way that I view love is so different than many of my peers and most of my generation.
If you are single, and even if you are currently in a relationship, but not married you should always consider the person you will marry one day and align yourself with the wife you aspire to be. As I mentioned a couple of blogs ago, I have entertained the idea of writing letters to my husband. I found this to be the easiest way to stay on track and govern myself as a ladyy. Now, I know our future husbands are probably out there doing some “thotivity” as we speak. So you’re saying…
“Laura, why should I start thinking about him now when I know he is out here doing his own thing??”
“Why he aint writing me letters!?”
Going through heart break can be tough. Trust me I have been there. More than once. After all of the advice I have gathered from my friends and family there are two major points that stick out to me. The first piece of advice I got was “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better”. BOOM!
The second piece of advice consist of three words, and yet seems to be the hardest thing to do.
“DO YOUR PART.”
You are so in charge of your own happiness. I know you want to throw a pity party. I know you want to shift the blame or responsibility on someone else. I know you want someone to pick you up off the bathroom floor, wipe your tears, kiss your forehead, and ask for your hand in marriage. TRUST ME. I have been there. I am so so so so sorry that life doesn’t work that way. That’s why you should make the initiative first. Get up and do your part. Start writing…
Since I have this blog it is so easy for me to document my journey. Sometimes I read old posts and think, “Ehh, glad we aren’t there anymore”. It is important for you to document your journey so you can always look back at progress. You are less likely to make the same mistake twice if you can read how far you have come. We are the generation of instant gratification, deal with pain later. If you have something to reflect on you’ll know the steps to take and most importantly what steps you don’t want to take. Obviously, my letters to my husband aren’t posted for you all to see. I will post an example one of these days, but for now they are for my own personal accountability. You may ask, “Well, I could just get a journal and write a diary. It doesn’t have to be letters to my husband.” You are absolutely correct! The reason I suggest writing letters to your future husband is because it gives you someone to answer to. It allows you to reflect on the things you have done or could potentially do to damage your future relationships, male or female.
Honestly, I am not sure if I will have my husband read these letters. Haha! Maybe some of them. The more sweeter ones. I know it sounds cheesy, but this is also something you could potentially give your husband on your wedding day or even read some of them to him on your honeymoon. We are not perfect people. Let’s not pretend to be. Although you may not want to share the night you had a one night stand (I don’t know if you’ll be brave enough to write to him about that), but you may want to share those moments when you felt unsure about your love life, or vulnerable, or even excited. I would feel so special if I knew my husband wrote a letter to me before we even met. It would make me feel like even back then he considered my feelings. It will also give you insight into your timeline of faith and hope for the unseen. Make it special!
This practice may seem like it is all about him, but it has more to do with you than anyone else. Writing letters to your future husband can help you organize your feelings. Sometimes we think we know what we want and then it turns out that it really wasn’t what we wanted after all. Before I meet my husband I want to knock all of my uncertainties out of the way. He aint got time for that, and neither do I! I don’t want to be in a marriage of confusion. I want to be so sure of my husband, so I can insure a lifetime of happiness. Letters to your husband will allow you to figure out what you want in a husband. I am sure you will add little tidbits about your current dating situation in your letters. This could allow you to figure out what characteristics you hated about certain partners and things you loved. This will be your lifetime partner. As much as we want to pretend our husbands were the firsts and lasts – knowing your do’s and dont’s matter. It can really be used as a guide for the future.
I don’t know about you, but my husband is ALREADY special to me. I want to prepare myself for my husband as much as I can. If anyone on this earth deserves my full attention and preparation it would be my future family. I want him to have the utmost respect, utmost pride, and utmost DESIRE for me. I don’t wanna be able to walk across the bedroom and be safe around him. If you know what I mean *wink*
Start trying to be the women you want to be for your husband today. It starts now, but you can thank me later!