“Hey, Big Head”: Being The One That Got Away

“Miss me yet?” said an indecisive yet thoughtful, maybe regretful, but always kind, young man. It was the day of my birthday. In which I usually invite my entire address book of friends to dinner, or out to a lounge. This year was a little different. One that I kept low key, just trying to make it as uneventful as possible. Keeping the friends I love most closest to me, and being grateful for those who have always been there.

After all, I’ve spent many birthdays wondering why I was “that girl”. You know that girl, the “hey, big head” girl, the one that only hears from “that guy” when she posts a sexy Instagram picture or when it’s her birthday. Oh you know, the highly sexualized and irresistible woman. The one girl who you could always come back to and if it wasn’t for love it was probably for understanding. My door has always been open to listen to any and all of life’s grievances even if it was at my heart’s expense. I’ve listened to how things aren’t working out with the ex, your career, your child’s mother, your family. Consuming all of your life’s worries and tucking them away and onto my back to carry, to save for the next time you decide to remember who I am to you.

Why am I always the one that got away? Why do people get to live their lives like the gate was left wide open to come and go as they please? What is it about me that makes me “that girl”?


After years of torturing myself about this I finally realized the power I have in being “the one that got away”. Instead of falling into those insatiable traps here are 3 quotes to remember:

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” – Maya Angelou
You’ve known this person for years honey. You know their patterns, their gimmicks. Don’t bank on this being the time they will change, or sweep you off your feet. Don’t fall in love with text messages and words. When someone wants to be with you there is nothing they won’t do to make it happen.

“…the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you” -Ranata Suzuki
Acceptance is key. Once you realize and come to terms with someone not being able to be who you wanted them to be you learn to love them at a distance. You are no longer entangled in their web that leads to no where.

“…my wish for you is that you feel no need to constrict yourself to make other people comfortable.” -Ta-Nehisi Coates
Everything should happen on your terms. Don’t text back out of guilt, and don’t hang out with people you don’t want to hang out with. I use to entertain so many people just for the sake of being polite, but being polite was constricting who I was to make other people feel good about themselves. Click To Tweet You should have loved me when you had me….sucker.

Have you ever been the one who got away? Comment, share, and like.


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